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Their tragedies speak for themselves. They tell why our United Way is committed to addressing domestic violence and why we support Lorain County Safe Harbor/Genesis House.

Janette, age 50
Janette was the mother of three children and worked in a pharmacy. Her husband tricked her into coming home early one day by saying their son had been arrested. After arriving home, she was shot by her husband who then committed suicide. She was murdered while calling for help.

Carla, age 22
Carla had one child, lived in Lorain. After enduring an abusive relationship with her boyfriend Carla asked him to move from their residence. She was shot twice in the chest during an argument with him,

Lisa, age 27
Lisa was the mother of two preschool daughters. She filed multiple complaints against her ex-husband for his repeated vandalism and harassment as well as for an assault against her the year after they divorced. When he broke into her home, she fled to a neighbor's for help. He broke in and gunned her down while she hid in a closet. She died from multiple gunshot wounds. He was convicted of aggravated murder and sentenced to death in the Ohio electric chair.

Durriyya, age 34
She lived in Oberlin. Her boyfriend shot her at his parent's house and then self-inflicted wounds to his body. He survived his injuries, but she did not.

Margaret, age 45
She lived in North Ridgeville. She died when her husband tracked her down and shot her in a crowded public establishment. He committed suicide the next day.

Stella, age 46
She lived in Vermilion. She was murdered when her estranged husband kicked the door in and shot her. After the incident, he went to a bar to announce what he had done.

Giovoni, age 33
She was a mother of four children and lived in Elyria. She was seeking a divorce from her husband when he broke in and stabbed her 13 times. Two of their children were at home at the time of the attack. Her teenage daughter witnessed the murder. Giovoni died with her children at her side.

Cathryn, age 37
She and her three children lived in Avon Lake. More than a year after breaking off the relationship with her boyfriend, they met to talk. In the car in an Avon Lake park, he shot and killed her, then killed himself.

Kimberly, age 24
She lived in Elyria and was struck more than a dozen times in the head with a hammer by her boyfriend. At the scene, her boyfriend admitted to officers that he killed her because he believed she had another boyfriend.

These women lived, worked and raised children in Lorain County. They were abused and brutally killed by someone who supposedly loved them. From the number and types of calls for help made to Safe Harbor/Genesis House and other agencies, it is clear that potential for such violence stalks many relationships today.

The scores of women and children currently receiving program services attest to that fact. Their accounts of physical and mental abuse speak to horrific situations. Their words paint a picture most unsettling: pain, suffering and terror for them and their children.

Safe Harbor/Genesis House is committed to alleviate such suffering. Its program mission is straightforward on that: To provide shelter for victims of domestic violence as well as crisis counseling, legal and hospital advocacy, support groups, children's support and aftercare community education. Thankfully, the past decade has seen the subject of domestic violence come out of the closet. And the scores of women and children currently receiving program services can attest that however bad a woman's situation might be, hope and a meaningful life are possible.

Just how meaningful was expressed to me following a talk on domestic violence I gave to a group of professional women. With a comment which spoke volumes about past trials endured and hope found, one attendee shared with me that: "This is the date I finally found the courage to go to Genesis House for help. I celebrate today as my real birthday. . . the day my new life began".

Lorain County Safe Harbor/Genesis House can be reached at (440) 323-3400 or 244-1853.

As printed in The Chronicle-Telegram 9/27/08

Driving down Elyria's Middle Avenue, one could easily miss the small building with no curb appeal. When inside the structure, it would be evident that the interior begs for remodeling and redecorating.

But that is where the minuses stop. The building is home to the Save Our Children (SOC) agency and, while lacking some decor and roominess, the services it provides are anything but lacking.

SOC's programming is stellar. The caring and familial feeling that its program offerings emanate are tangible, as are the results achieved with participants. As put by one United Way fund distribution volunteer noted for his program evaluation rigor, "In my 15 years doing agency site visits, this is the finest youth program I have ever seen. What they are doing is so important and so well done. It is impressive. This is truly a quality children's program!"

SOC's summer and after-school programs are the services that United Way funds. SOC provides them to children living in south Elyria neighborhoods. Program components include educational assistance and socialization activities aimed at instilling an appreciation for academic excellence, personal success and healthy values. Their approach to program delivery views each young person "holistically," thereby endeavoring to integrate the participants' academic achievement with the rest of their development.

SOC's focus is on lifelong learning and intellectual curiosity. Observing the tutoring and learning experiences offered, one is impressed by the emphasis put on clear thinking, finding solutions to questions and on real understanding of math, language, science and other subjects. Evident, too, is the strong emphasis woven through the program curriculum on the cultivation of leadership skills and on valuing the uniqueness of each participant. Regarding leadership, the program requires participants to attend, perform and interact well with others.

Make no mistake: this is not after school baby-sitting. Program participants are held accountable for their behavior and participation. Older students are expected to be role models and help younger students. Schedules are expected to be maintained and commitments kept. In every activity, participants are exhorted to do their best. This is one very serious piece of human service being offered by SOC. The youth served come from low-income and otherwise challenged home settings. For many, SOC is their safest environment, their positive reinforcement outside of school and, often, their second home. All of which makes the results even more remarkable.

Little wonder that the founders named the agency accordingly: "We call the program Save Our Children because that is what we do - Through our programs we are saving children from drugs, street violence and the allure of bad companions."

That is my kind of mission statement. "Save" has no ambiguity. Nor should there be any when describing what the service's focus should be for today's at-risk youth. Carnegie Corporation's report on after school programs said it well. "Risk can be transformed into opportunity for our youth by turning their non-school hours into the time of their lives." Save Our Children is doing just that. Working collaboratively with staff from Elyria Schools, the program keeps lines of communication open between the school and parents regarding the children's academic needs. The program monitors academic progress, school attendance and behavior. Mostly it provides that personal touch that tells each youngster, "You are important."

My favorite part of Save Our Children's program is the field trip segment, which exposes participants to the world and experiences that they might not otherwise have had. Exposure that other children their age might take for granted: a trip to the zoo, science museum, I.X. Center or Progressive Field. Or possibly a reward as simple as a visit to the in-house candy store.

What a concept! A challenging, caring, safe, fun and supportive learning environment.

That is the concept of getting results for children at Save Our Children.

As printed in The Chronicle-Telegram 9/20/08

Thursday's news reflections on September 11's horrific details elicited memories which have become seared in most American's minds. That recounting, likely, was a reminder of where one was and what one was doing as the terrorism unfolded. Etched in those reminders are the heart-rending emotions felt as the full extent of the day's tragedies unfolded and details became known. Mingled with my personal memories is a second set of recollections that are in stark contrast to those caused by the evil perpetrated that day.

My "where" was Andrews Air Force Base's Fisher House in Washington, where my wife and I had lodging. Fisher Houses are located on the grounds of major military installations and provide temporary lodging for families of critically ill and injured military personnel. This was truly the bleakest time for my family as our son was in a life-threatening condition at Walter Reed Hospital. Just as we were leaving base to see him on that fateful morning the earth-shaking boom of F-16s halted our departure. Their thunderous roar, the screech of the base's alarm sirens, and the flurry of activity that within 90 seconds took Andrews from peace to war evidenced the gravest of situations. Such gravity was confirmed by the billowing smoke coming from the Pentagon building, the scurrying of people and traffic in the alarmed city, and by the presence of fully armed troops accompanied by guard dogs manning Walter Reed's entrances that we encountered upon arrival at the hospital.

Once inside, the day's experience darkened even more as we saw preparations being made for admitting those gravely injured in the Pentagon attack. All of which could all be seen from windows on our son's floor.

Witnessing firsthand the terrible results of the brutal attack coupled with our own family's grief combined for a day drained of emotion. This made our return to Andrew's late that evening all the more memorable. For in the midst of the day's chaos, the charged emotions on the military base, and the readiness required by the security assigned to Air Force One headquarters - under such conditions - members of our son's unit exhibited character ordinarily attributed to families. As we passed each security checkpoint, members of his unit asked how we were and inquired, with evident emotion, about our son's well being. Upon entering our housing unit, we were advised about his commander's call regarding our and our son's welfare. Simultaneously, we were told that members of his squadron, who earlier that morning flew those F-16s and secured the Washington base, had a prepared meal for us in the kitchen.

Talk about a day filled with contrasting human behavior! We saw evidence of the worst in human nature as well as the best: total disregard of others and people caring for others, thinking outside themselves and coming together as one positive force through every day actions.

Given the needs and challenges confronting individuals and families, along with the opportunities available for improving and addressing those issues, the idea of working together as one is just as needed now as it was seven years ago. It was the theme of last weekend's countywide United Way Day of Caring activities, which involved 700+ volunteers. That same sentiment is captured in the theme adopted by our United Way board as the standard by which our agency will serve the community: "Live United."

That brand will be enacted in several ways. One is underway already in this year's fundraising effort. The money raised in this communitywide effort will provide the pool of financial resources that will be directed to address the needs and issues identified by the community as most impacting people's lives. In addition to financial support, our Live United work will seek to enlist volunteers to assist in collaborating on planning and enacting efforts to positively impact the community and people's lives. And once those impact areas are identified and committed to, our Live United effort will ask volunteers and the community to advocate with us for answers and efforts that better Lorain County.

Live United means to give, volunteer and advocate.

As printed in The Chronicle-Telegram 9/13/08

If alive and now penning his words about today's issues, the author of the oft-quoted book of Ecclesiastes might well add a United Way line to "there being an appointed time for everything and a time for every purpose under the heavens." That line is that "this is the time to live united."

If anything is evident from research - as well as common sense - it's that the most daunting challenges facing individuals, families and society can most effectively and efficiently be addressed by joining community resources and energy. Silo thinking and behavior don't get lasting results. Neither do money, good ideas nor well intentioned people alone. That is the reason that our Lorain County United Way adopted "Live United" as its theme not just for this year, but for the foreseeable future, because it embodies the essentials for achieving lasting changes: giving, volunteering and advocacy.

"Live United" is more than a clever tag line. It is about the power of unity and of what can be accomplished when a community takes charge of issues with shared purpose and commitment. In real terms, Live United for Lorain County is about working to advance the common good by focusing on strengthening families, nurturing children & teens, caring for basic needs and addressing systemic problems and their root causes. We consider these to be the basic building blocks for the quality of life and the common good in Lorain County. Advancing the common good is what United Way has always been about, whether it is by resource development, generating volunteerism or advocating for a better quality of life.

The United Way board, staff and volunteers want the community that we serve, along with the individuals and groups to whom we come for support, to know that Live United is our mission and goal. It is the standard on which we want to be judged as well as the credo around which we seek partnerships, investment and assistance on community endeavors. The importance of those endeavors speaks for itself, as does the degree of collaboration necessary to make an impact:

• Helping people meet basic needs for safety, adequate food, daily subsistence, access to safe shelter, crisis intervention and emergency aid.
• Nurturing children and teens by providing safe and caring environments, positive role models and appropriate educational opportunities.
• Strengthening families by providing interventions as well as the education, stabilization and life skills necessary to healthy, productive and meaningful lives.
• Partnering with high-level stakeholders and non-profit providers; local, state and national government officials; philanthropic leaders; and business leaders, while also engaging in a countywide strategic planning process to both understand and find solutions to challenges related to access and continuity of care for the uninsured.
• Collaborating with non-profit providers, government entities and other funding sources to advocate and seek solutions for the problems of homelessness and medication for the uninsured.
• Participating on the countywide P-16 Council, whose goal is education development, excellence and success for all students from pre-school on.

This same Live United attitude also is driving United Ways' analysis as to where else to direct its resources and expertise. This planning effort has engaged the time and talents of a large group of community volunteers and United Way board members. The group soon will determine "areas of service and collaboration" on which our United Way's energies and resources can make a positive impact. The product will be another example of our Live United brand and have the goal of bettering lives and advancing the common good.

Live United is a constant reminder that when we as individuals think outside ourselves, we have the awesome power to facilitate change. That when we think of others' lives as linked to our own, our compassion grows. That when we reach out a hand to one, we influence the condition of all. We build the strength of our neighborhoods. We bolster the health of our families and communities. We bring hope and opportunity. And we change the lives of those who walk by us every day.

As printed in The Chronicle-Telegram 9/6/08